I'm eating all of the evidence.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
