do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
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I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
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I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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