I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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