More tranny stories later!
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Randomize
