I wanna bring you to show and tell
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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