So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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