oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
