OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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