I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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