There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
