Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I understand Curling. That high.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
