Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize