Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
