I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
