you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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