I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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