I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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