i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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