Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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