Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
