You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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