I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
