Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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