need another drink. this is the easiest way
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
