zippers are such a cool invention
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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