I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
