I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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