My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
foreskin is a definite game changer
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
