I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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