Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
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I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
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I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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