He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
