She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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