Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
