The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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