How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
