i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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