sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
