So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
