it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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