Nicole vs. Life
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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