i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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