just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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