Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
