I bet he comes in French.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
