24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I wear drunk well.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
