Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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