I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize