I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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