I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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