I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i out mim tonsoeep
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