sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I skipped work to stalk him.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I have already put on my inside pants.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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