i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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