I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
