Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
