i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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