Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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