pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
This toilet bowl is my home.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
